France Launches National Lottery to Choose Next Prime Minister After Macron’s Application Rejected by Himself

France has officially launched a nationwide lottery to select its next prime minister after President Emmanuel Macron accidentally rejected his own application while filling out the eligibility form. According to the Élysée Palace, the President was “reviewing all submissions with impartiality” when he noticed one marked “Emmanuel M., 47, Paris” and dismissed it on the grounds that the candidate was “overfamiliar with power and demonstrated poor teamwork with self.”

The new initiative, dubbed “La Chance Républicaine,” allows any French citizen over 18 to become prime minister by purchasing a €2 lottery ticket and promising not to resign before breakfast. The Élysée will broadcast the draw live from the Louvre, where numbered berets will replace lottery balls. “Since fate seemed to have better ideas than democracy ever did,” read the official statement, “we have decided to let fate take the wheel.”

Critics have described the initiative as “a political cry for help,” but Macron insists it’s innovation. “The problem with politics,” he explained, “is that people expect competence. Luck, on the other hand, never disappoints.” The President added that the draw would bring “fresh energy to a stale system,” though insiders confirm that what he really means is “no one else will return my calls.”

Reports suggest that over 40 million tickets were sold within the first day, with many citizens saying they were “willing to govern for at least a week if it means free wine at cabinet meetings.” Former prime ministers have formed a support group called Les Survivants, warning the winner to “keep a bag packed.”

As Paris slept, the Seine flowed quietly, the only thing in the city that still obeyed its course. The President, seen walking along its banks at dawn, reportedly told the water, “At least you still flow with me.”