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IGP Dampare, 54, Fired for Lacking 40 Years Experience, Regrets Not Enlisting at 14

Dr. George Akuffo Dampare has just discovered the hard way that being IGP in Ghana is not about competence. If you haven't roamed the police force longer than Moses roamed the desert, you’re simply not IGP material. A government statement announcing his replacement, COP Christian Tetteh Yohunu,

Local Men Baffled By Local Women Celebrating International Women's Day

In a stirring International Women’s Day speech, local woman and Vice President Prof. Jane Opoku-Agyemang passionately called for women's empowerment in Ghana. Across the country, an unexpected crisis unfolded as men struggled to understand why local women confidently joined global celebrations meant for, in their opinion, properly

Energy Minister Denies Blackouts, Points to the Consistency of Sunlight and Moonlight as Proof

The Minister of Energy and Green Transition has strongly rejected claims that Ghana is experiencing power outages, arguing that if there were truly a crisis, the entire country would be in complete darkness. “Every morning, the sun rises without fail, and every evening, the moon appears right on schedule. So

Declassified: CIA Staged Coup in 1966 Mere Weeks Before Ghana Achieved Artificial General Intelligence

Newly declassified intelligence documents from the United States Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) have revealed that the 1966 overthrow of Ghana’s first president, Dr. Kwame Nkrumah, was not merely a Cold War maneuver or a rejection of Pan-Africanism — but a desperate bid to halt Ghana’s imminent breakthrough in Artificial

'Are You Guys Okay? Should We Send Rice?' - IMF Texts Ghana about Low Independence Day Budget

The International Monetary Fund (IMF) was reportedly thrown into a mild panic after Ghana’s government proudly announced that the 68th Independence Day celebrations would cost just one-tenth of last year’s budget, thanks to a heroic cost-cutting effort that began when a national GoFundMe campaign raised a heart-shattering 603

Hajj Village: Gov't Swears No Taxpayer Money, Mutters Something about 'Projected Growth' in Airport 'Lost & Found'

Under pressure to not use any taxpayer money to fund the controversial Hajj Village project – a project the government describes as 'just another airport terminal for pilgrims' – the government has devised an innovative, if highly questionable, alternative: relying on the projected growth of Kotoka International Airport’s Lost

Ghanaian Teen Sues Parents for Deporting Him to ‘Hell’, Satan Says ‘Same Thing Happened to Me’

A 14-year-old UK-born Ghanaian has dragged his own parents to court after they air-dropped him into a Ghanaian boarding school, which he claims is “indistinguishable from Hell — but with more mosquitoes.” Hell’s longstanding president, Satan, issued a rare statement of solidarity, admitting the boy’s description hit uncomfortably close

Gov't to Set Aside Last Friday of Every Month for National Game of Ludu (Home Kick Included)

President Mahama, in a heartfelt throwback to his golden childhood days, has officially declared the last Friday of every month as National Recreation Day, headlined by a gargantuan, all-Ghana game of Ludu — Home Kick and heartbreak included, of course. The venue? None other than the abandoned plot once promised to

Minority Outraged that Justice Minister Cannot Dance, Demands Immediate Disqualification

Ghana’s Parliament descended into chaos yesterday after Minority MPs expressed sheer outrage over Justice Minister nominee Justice Srem-Sai’s refusal to "bust a move" during his vetting, accusing him of a "disturbing lack of rhythm". The controversy erupted when Minority Leader Alexander Afenyo-Markin, in an

All Appointments Set for Revocation as Gov’t Taps Ctrl+Z Relentlessly, Hoping to Reach 1957

In what appears to be a bold new governance strategy—or a massive keyboard mishap—the government has been furiously hitting Ctrl+Z, revoking every post-election appointment in sight, all in an apparent bid to rewind Ghana to its “original British factory settings.” The revocations, initially framed as a bid

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